Up until very recently, i´d convinced myself i disliked the rules so much that i ate them for breakfast. It was even written on my Myspace page. That means it´s serious!
But lately, i realise i´m into rules in a big way. I´ve secretly wangled them into my every day, and last week, it was official. I officially declared two new rules.
...Well, one rule, but that meant i had to create a couple more in order for it to happen.
For some time, it's been my goal to "be more Oprah"- that is, to take a full day off every week. To be truly "Oprah inspired", that day would be a Sunday...And “day off” equals no work. No work talk. No work thoughts (if you have one, ideally you write it down then leave it alone)…And truth is, it was challenging but so vital.
- Baby, we made it! (got drunk on the beauty of plants and floated in the sea - it was BLISS!) 🌱💚
Of course, i was used to working every day, like so many of us. So in order for my rule to work, i had to implement this other rule. That being - a daily routine! Agh!
If, like me, you spend more time than seems healthy researching artists daily schedules (there´s a good book here if you fancy a new fetish), you´ll know that many cite "routine" as being essential for any creative work to happen. And routine involving a “carpe diem” approach, early night in order to seize the day and all of it´s potential.
I would scoff at that in the past, convincing myself i was a night owl, embarking on choreography for some 90s r&b in my room at 1am, moving on by 2am, deciding that this was a good moment to arrange my sequins and start filing that project i´d put off for months, ending up down a Tumblr Rabbithole by 3am, falling asleep on my keyboard with rogue sequins imprinted onto my cheeks, rather unsightly and, well, not so productive.
The problem was, i would still get up early because i was always scared and annoyed to miss out on the day. (That feeling still makes me grumpy to this day. Perhaps it´s an old attachment to the fear of being perceived as lazy….anyway.)
In truth, i love an early night. I love getting into bed with a good book. I love the feeling that i am putting the day to bed. The possibility of the morning ahead. The possibility of breakfast!
...doesn´t everyone fantasise about their next meal? (Full disclosure: One of Ketil´s nicknames for me is Next Meal, because i love to talk about just that!)
Before i loose myself down a Food Rabbithole, my point is, finally, the penny dropped:
I realised that these things that i´d been depriving myself of - particularly around having a day off (see my previous letter where i share my silly behaviour and thus missing glorious PRIDE) didn´t necessarily need to happen. In order to create the space of having one day off in the week, i had to get smarter with my time on all the other days and obligations.
(I think Gordon -my secret thirst trap- Ramsay says, "work smarter, not harder" or something.)
That meant, reassessing what was necessary to do when, what i could move, and what i could let go of.
It also meant on a daily level, a more established evening ritual, getting myself to bed by a certain hour, and setting an alarm earlier than i might feel is necessary, so i could indulge in the morning time, unrushed. For example, morning movement, meditation and breathwork practice for me is a luxury, so i make sure i plan enough time to include it as i know it will benefit my day and everyone around me.
Of course there have been challenging moments. Moments where Ketil has warned “no work!” when i tried to sneak it in. Or when looking at the time i was allocating to support other people i had to create boundaries to make sure i took care of my necessary´s first. And that meant disappointing people. And finally, of course, establishing a sleep routine has not been the most fun, however i think the benefits outweigh the difficult parts!
So. Rules, rituals, call it what you want (really resisting a New Kids on the Block reference here…) can be helpful. Freeing even! And i´m already excited for Sunday!
Do you have any daily rituals?
Do you have any rules that help you feel amazing?
And if not:
What do you wish you could do more of?
And what can you adjust so you can fit it into your week?
Let me know!
TAKE A CALMING BREATHER - VIDEO
Are you the type to get all projecty and creative late at night because you find it hard to wind down?
Here´s an old video - trying not to cringe - of a breathwork technique i use to settle.
Sidenote: it was back in the glory days when coffee was my best friend.
Hope it helps!